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Before you decide that he's the right guy to marry, you need to take a serious look at how he views financial goals, choices and commitments.Since the number one cause of disagreements in marriages is financial, it's critical to observe if the guy you want to marry exhibits any of these 12 warning signs:1. In fact, you disagree about almost all financial goals, choices, and commitments.2.Rather than pay off his credit cards each month, he pays the minimum. This is a regular occurrence because he never seems to have enough money to pay his bills.4. He blames other people, the high unemployment rate or other circumstances beyond his control for his lack of employment.He often says that it's just a temporary situation, but even when he's working, he doesn't seem to keep a job for very long.5.And never, ever do something that could land you in legal trouble. You don’t have to sob at the office, but take some quiet moments to reflect and be honest with yourself. It’s healthier to express yourself honestly than grow numb.(If you share the lease, deal with it like responsible adults. No matter who you are, turning your life around can be as easy as deciding that you're going to draw a line in the sand and make a change right now.Don't let people tell you you're a loser — instead, ignore their pettiness and work to be the best, happiest person you can be.

Also see the new “Relationship Quiz: True Love or True Loser?

There will be times when it’s important to communicate with an ex. Maybe you have to deal with a shared lease, or pet custody.

“Defriending” or at least hiding statuses can help you avoid the constant temptation to check in and see if your ex is living a life more miserable — or worse, more awesome — than yours. Don’t key his car, kidnap his cat, or destroy his stuff. The temptation may be to pretend you’re unaffected by the breakup; don’t let pride get in the way of being real.

Recruit a support system of friends and family to help you fill the time normally spent with a significant other. Maybe you’d just rather be in a bad relationship than be in no relationship at all.

Resist the urge, however, to call or text whenever you would have when you were still dating. Ask a close friend if you can call him/her every time you would usually reach out to your ex.




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An archive perspective rendering by architect Paul Rudolph, of the Burroughs Wellcome Headquarters in North Carolina, circa 1969.