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She had to be able to wrestle King Kong to parade rest: Be able to balance a tray with one hand, knock sailors out of the way with the other hand and skillfully navigate through a roomful of milling around drunks telling lies and drinking San Magoo. They could look at your ship's identification shoulder tab and tell you the names of the Skippers back to the time you were a Cub Scout.

On slow nights, she had to be the kind of gal who would give you a back scratch or put her foot on the table so you could admire her new ankle bracelet some "mi " brought her back from a Hong Kong liberty. They knew where your ship was going before you got there and they knew where you were going after that!

We wuz SAILORs and we earned every right to be men ashore as we were at sea. I'd go back tomorrow, particularly if I could be on a US flagged ship off Somalia!! Our favorite liberty bars were unlike no other watering holes or dens of iniquity inhabited by seagoing men.

They had to meet strict standards to be in compliance with the acceptable requirement for a sailor beer-swilling dump.

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Think that was bad...where only the EOD guys were allowed!! We were paid to live a life of deprivation from fresh milk and eggs, from no beer for months at a time, and we had to smell stinky socks, smelly wet suits, and diesel fuel forfuqinever, and a life with a few shots over the bow of some Mideast creep that wanted to threaten the US of A, but what a life we lived when we got ashore in the Med or in West Pac!!

A good barmaid had to be able to whisper sweet nothings in your young sailor ear like, "I love you, Baby, no shit, you buy me Honda?? If you came in after a late night maintenance problem and fell asleep with a half-eaten Slim-Jim in your hand, they tucked your peacoat around you, put out the cigarette you left burning in the ashtray and replaced the warm draft you left sitting on the table with a cold one when you woke up. Simply because they were one of the few people on the face of the earth that knew what you did, and appreciated what you were doing.

And if you treated them like a decent human being and didn't drive 'em nuts by playing songs they hated on the juke box, they would lean over the back of the booth and park their soft warm on your neck when they sat two San Miguel beers in front of you ( and asked for that air-conditioned helicopter)!! And the Paki or Indian or Bangladeshi table wipe down guy and glass washer, trash dumper, deck swabber and paper towel replacer: The guy had to have baggy tweed pants and a gold tooth and a grin like a 1950 Buick..

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