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I had just moved to New York, I was wildly out of my comfort zone, and I was just trying to have as much fun as possible.

I felt oddly privileged when a hot upperclassman started pursuing me.

She just text back, "i feel like you're taking my being sick personally" What the hell? Sickness happens, and if she wanted me there I would be there as soon as I could be.

Ok, then she can fend for herself and i won't ask if she's ok. Make her some soup and bring over, or pick some up from a place that makes good soup like Panera bread or something.

I am whining, as I tell my dad all this, suddenly, in the car as we wait for the train after my meeting with the rabbi.

I called him and told him how sick I was, and that I felt terrible - I explained that I didn't want to get him sick, but I SOOO very much wanted to see him. He said that if we were going to be in a relationship, that being sick was just part of the package, and he had no plans to change his plans, as long as I wanted him here. (I should add that we went totally apesh*t over each after our first date and I realize of course that that doesn't happen often.)What kind of relationship do you have where you don't know what kind of injury she has sustained? I got sick..really sick - the flu - about 3 weeks after my BF and I had met, and he had made plans to come over that night. And those same types of relationships are the ones most frequently bungled by disease.I've spoken to more female friends than I can count (on my two under-washed, pathogen-carrying hands) who have felt slighted by a guy who seems extremely nice—until she gets strep or whatever terrifying bat-borne virus is going around.Let's talk about how it affects your love life.If you're in a new relationship or just boning somebody you kind of actually like, an illness can be a litmus test of intention and compassion.




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