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Nothing says Ayshet Chayil like her ability to lovingly prepare a Seder plate. Don't think this means Jewish women are controlling.Your wife is just highly efficient and on top of everything, from remembering your mom's birthday to telling you when your car is due for an MOT.And remember, it’s less about quality than quantity. Instead she would be accommodating if not compliant, although we can but dream. And so please don’t expect us to squish or splat anything.No teensy nouvelle cuisine portions for us, if you don’t mind. In fact, we will marry you if you do the squishing for us.What do women need to know about men, Jewish men in particular? But, as a divorced and remarried dad of three, I clearly have a unique perspective in the field of gender difference. Oh, and by the way — Jewish men are not from Mars, they’re from Finchley. Food, it hardly needs saying, is a favourite of Jewish homo erectus. 3 What you look like is not important, and certainly not a deal-breaker, so stop fussing in front of the mirror. And when it comes to clothes, we go for comfort, not class, especially since, if you go shlochy, so can we, which means another outing for our beloved tracksuit bottoms and hoodie. For some reason, “man” is synonymous with “slob” when really it should be “fanatically, fastidiously neat”. Our CDs are alphabetised, our DVDs are ranked by genre, and our clothes are hung according to style and fabric, even if they do largely comprise tracksuit bottoms and hoodies. Some people are genetically predisposed towards confrontation, just not ones with xy chromosomes. For instance, we hate insects, in particular spiders, even harmless small-ish ones that won’t necessarily kill on contact.The fastest way to a man’s heart is via his intestinal tract. Never Been Kissed starring Drew Barrymore as the titular virgin who finally finds love and snogs the hunk of her dreams to the strains of The Beach Boys’ Don’t Worry Baby before a packed crowd of baseball fans? Those scenes from Men Behaving Badly featuring Gary and Tony’s bombsite of a flat? Our ideal woman wouldn’t challenge our every waking move. It is in our DNA and based on a primordial fear of anything with more than two legs crawling inside our trousers.

Sorry to start with the obvious, but it's got to be stated.In several places in the Jewish Bible, there are relations which appear to be intermarriages - for example, King David is described as marrying the daughter of the king of Geshur, (PLease note - this is not what Nehemaih cited refers to. refers to not buying grain on the Sabbath and forgiving debts in the 7th year.8 Sometimes, when we are at the shops, we might glance at another woman.This is not, repeat not, because we find the woman in question remotely attractive. It is because she is so not as attractive as you, and we can’t quite believe our luck let alone trust our own eyes, and we just have to keep checking that it’s true. Teddies are nice, so are cute, heart-shaped chocolates.

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