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She will not forgive you for the smallest of mistakes and enjoys watching you squirm in your chair, embarrassed. Her precise duties can vary from lovingly criticising you in front of your husband, taunting you with scathing remarks while your husband is not around and haunting you in the middle of the night, even in the privacy of your own bedroom!That's a term for an Indian with mix European blood.All of the women in his family are outspoken, modern, and strong-willed.The world expects us to be either the frothy-mouthed zealots or mini-mart owners they see on TV.In Pakistan, almost the entire school curriculum is taught in English, and this has created generations of Pakistanis who navigate English with complete ease.Even his cousin in Calcutta who has never stepped foot in America. I also like Indian men because they're very gentlemenly and chivalrous, well at least the Indian men in my circle are like that One experience that's still fresh in my mind was when I had a house party a few years ago: I invited my Indian friends and my new neighbor who's a Pakistani woman.

When you marry him, you will bid farewell to the thought of drinking your favourite tea forever because when she dies, your husband will tell you that the tea brand she brought reminds him of her and so will be the only one brought into the house despite her not being there anymore! Your in-laws will want air-conditioners, refrigerators, kitchen utensils, cars, motorbikes and possibly even your nightie.

Remember: your misery is her delight; your win is her war! Your husband will never leave his beloved ‘mummy’ to live with you in a separate house. Everyone wants to know whats the latest with your relationship, and you will have to tell everyone what, why, when and how because, after all, they are family and you must not hide anything from them. I am sorry, I do not believe he has ever heard of it or knows the meaning of that word. You say you want to go meet that friend from college? You will not have a say in family planning; your body is his asset now.

Besides that, they are in your face all the time anyway, so if you don’t tell them, they will find out! He will decide everything; starting from when you will have babies to how many you will have.

As a mother-in-law in Pakistan, she also holds the divine right of telling you exactly what she thinks of your relationship with your husband (her son first) and will offer all kinds of unsolicited advice, whether you want it or not. Of course, you must never let him feel like you are unhappy because then he will get hurt and being blinded by the pain of the ‘unfair pressure’ you put on him, will be left with no choice but to divorce you – possibly via a text saying, And tadaa, you’re divorced. To marry this highly eligible bachelor you must impress him. Apparently they never had any of those things before his highness met you. You, dear ladies, will be his property and he will not ‘allow’ you to hang out with male friends (only immodest girls do that).

It is just part and parcel of the legacy of being a Pakistani mother-in-law. No, not with your good looks, charm or personality, this pauper… But don’t take this lightly at all, there can, and have been, huge fights over dowry; sometimes, in a rage of greed they burn you or even kill you for not bringing that last toothpick left in your house! You will have to live with over a dozen other people in a small, cramped house. Not only do you live with his parents, you share space with his three other brothers and their families. Do not pester him into letting you go for a movie with your friends because this may result in him calling you all sorts of names, from dogs and cats to mothers and fathers – or, he will go crying to his mother, who will sympathise with all her heart and this little tête-à-tête will result in him texting you, 6.




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