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Ray Guarendi As a family psychologist, I am often asked by parents when their children should begin dating. Let’s suppose that you’ve decided to begin dating discussions when your daughter turns 16.They usually hasten to inform me, “All his (her) friends are dating.” My quick answer is: When they’re married, and only with their spouse. Now back in the old days — the early 1980s — you met resistance for such a decision mainly from the children. You can’t wrap a moral bubble around them; they have to deal with life. A recent survey suggested that if a child has a first date between the ages of 11 and 13, he or she has a 90% probability of being sexually active during senior year in high school. Key factors to consider in granting any type of dating freedom are your child’s: • moral maturity • independence of thought • history of conduct in other social settings • strength of will • social judgment • choice of friends • responsibility toward schoolwork • respect for authority.Adolescents who are dating because of peer pressure or a need to belong can experience significant disappointment.Teen pregnancy, Sexually transmitted infections, broken hearts, and depression, are common themes for those who work with teens.Once your child starts dating, don’t stop talking to them about relationships.RANDY (Randy Carlson): Tell me, Brenda, at what age will you let your daughter single-date?

Once you’re done talking, set a good example in your relationship with your significant other.Mom, in her infinite wisdom said, “You are really too young to have a boyfriend.You should have lots of boys as friends at your age.” The little girl sighed and said, “I know, but when I am 14, I will be old enough to date.” Somewhat surprised by the comment, the mother asked her daughter what you do on a date. Have you ever had a discussion with your teen about the purpose of dating or what you do on a date? This said, it is a simple truth of life that if you act differently from the way the majority does, you will be misunderstood by most. Nothing at all is to be gained from premature, opposite-sex involvement through dating, or for that matter, through the phone, dances, parties, or games kids love.

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